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Issues_en

Page history last edited by takodori 13 years, 2 months ago

Issues or Discussions

 

"I'm not sure with my modification,"

"What does this mean?," or

"Let's unfiy the format/vocabulary."

 

You can raise an issues or discuss the english here. (Of course, comments on the comment box is also good.)

 

1. Do we need japanese titles or any japanese in the text?

 

2. By reveaing all the processes ---> By examining each step(by Leonard) ---> By xxxxing each step

>> By revealing all the processes, examining each step, he attempted not only to assume the attitude of doubting common sense but also to express vast possibilities hidden in the early game. 

 

The original Japanese text of the part in question is 披瀝することで(Hireki-suru Koto de, page 24). The Japanese verb of Hireki-suru is  something like "to open", "to disclose","to reveal", "to publisize", "to unvail" and so on. So I think "examining" is not good for it.

 

 

3.overflowing tension, intensity, 

The original Japanese text of the part is "先手と後手が、初手からみなぎる緊張感の中で将棋を指したとしたら(Sente to Gote ga Minagiru Kincho-kan no Naka de Shogi wo Sashita to shitara" I would like make a proposal to revise this part as follows

overflowing intensity ---> If both Sente and Gote were all tensed up to play a game from the first move,  (issue resolved)

 

4. to make destructive deductive innovations

The original Japanese text of the part is "破壊的なイノベーション(Hakai teki na Innovation)", thus "destructive" was a correct word.

 

5. Place of Discussion

Jun:

Although I am the one who made this page, I start to suspect if this is the right place (i.e., technology).

If this page get longer, we would not directly see which is the latest posting and understand the context (to which is it refering to). The log gives what's new, but does not give which topic it's about.

Shota (Yakushji) had created a Google group,

http://groups.google.com/group/modernshogi

It is basically a mailing-list, but with Gmail or other good email software, you can easily see which posting (email) replys which email.

This is not the conclusion. Just raising an issue. (We can stay here because effectly only four of us are discussing. Discussions are not too widely spread.)

 

Comments (10)

Leonard Hirsch said

at 4:01 am on May 21, 2009

1) Chapter 5-- Title of book by Watanabe: "Duel of Brain" should probably be "Duel of Brains" since a duel is with two things and not one.

2) Spelling of favourite and other words that end in our: British spelling is favourite. American spelling is favorite. Pick one and be consistent.

Jun Koda said

at 8:44 am on May 21, 2009

1) Duel of Brains: I see. That makes scence.
Another title of a book "The Changing Modern Shogi" sometimes has "The" and sometimes doesn't. Which sounds natural?
2) I reali"z"ed that, too... There's also a mixure of -se and -ze spellings.

takodori said

at 3:04 pm on May 21, 2009

Your participation is more than welcomed! Leonard-san.

Please pick American spelling. Don't touch whether to spelling out numbers or to use numerals. This will be ruled later by us for implementation.
We will appreciate if you concentrate on other grammatical errors than numbers and point out the things that did not sense so that we can examine them referring to the original Japanese texts.

Leonard Hirsch said

at 2:41 pm on May 22, 2009

Thank you. I went through most of Chapter 1 and the Preface. I'm going to wait for comments because I want to be careful that I haven't changed too much or the meaning of anything. I was mostly trying to polish the English only. In chapter 1-- please define kaku. Also utsuwa. I put (capacity) next to utsuwa guessing at the meaning from a google search on the word. Maybe someone can add a translation of kaku in the same way. There is also a note in chapter one about something that cannot be translated from Japanese. I left that alone.

shenqi said

at 7:35 pm on May 22, 2009

Thanks a lot Leonard.
Although I have defined utsuwa and kaku, I am still unsure about translations so let me just explain what 'utsuwa' and 'kaku' meant.
'utsuwa' and 'kaku' are similar words and they kind of mean suitable for particular profession or position but they have much more philosophical meaning.
Difference in usages of 'utsuwa' and 'kaku' is when we use 'utsuwa', it is likely to talk about individual ability, whereas 'kaku' is often used to describe the social status.
Since they are quite philosophical I cannot explain any better. (You know, it is quite difficult to talk about complex stuff in second language)
You'd better wait for more comments coming up because my answer is not concrete (and I didn't really answer your question).

What written in Japanese is the subtitles of the text and they are already translated into English like 変わりゆく現代将棋/Changing Modern Shogi.
So everything on left-handed side is Japanese subtitle and everything in left-handed side is English subtitle, seperated using slash/.

takodori said

at 11:57 pm on May 22, 2009

Thanks a lot, Leonard, I raised the issues #2~4 as above. Please read them to give us your thought.

Leonard Hirsch said

at 1:41 am on May 23, 2009

Sorry about 4. There is, however, probably a better word and I'll try to think of it. Issue 3-- good change. Issue 2-- Sorry again and I'll be more careful, but it does sound awkward as does number 4.

New Issue: The word hands in chapter 2 needs to be changed where I stopped editing today. I'm not quite sure of the meaning so I won't even propose a word.

Jun Koda said

at 9:04 am on May 23, 2009

Wow, you guys updates so fast!
Thank you for detecting hidden Japanese (I mean Japanese written with alphabet). We should replace or explain those, but not easy to find by skimming skimming. Just pointing the out would be a great help.

I'm sure not all the sentences are clear. Just pointing out sentences that you think unclear, awkward or wordy would be very valuable.

Thank you guys' for your great effort. I'll read as mush as I can, too.

Jun Koda said

at 9:27 am on May 23, 2009

> The word hands
Oh, "hands" and "moves" are same word in Japanese. I changed them to "moves."

terao-san, what is a common way to say「手が止まる」? I wrote "stopped making a move."
making? advancing?

Jun Koda said

at 9:52 am on May 23, 2009

Leonard,
After reading 2-4 above, I worried that my comment "9:04 am" might sound like, "don't make changes."
I don't mean that, of course. Please make many changes you want. I'm really enjoying this update. There were not much interactions on English expression before you and shenqi joined.

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